If Only Things Were Different
by life-is-my-tardis
Summary: The Doctor himself said that for every decision we make, there's a parallel world in existence where a different outcome may have occurred. Here are ten different scenarios where Rose and her Doctor could have confessed the truth.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the first of hopefully ten chapters. I wrote this little thing in a couple of different sittings, and I think my strength definitely lies in character studies rather than dialogue so please review kindly and constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated! This one takes place at the very end of "The Girl in the Fireplace."**

When the Doctor returned to the TARDIS, he had lost every last drop of that jubilant energy he had been bursting with only minutes before, and that worried Rose. He kept his feelings too quiet, too bottled up inside himself, and one day that might do him harm.

"Why her?" she asked softly. Her question had two meanings, of course; she wanted to know why the aliens had chosen to stalk Reinette in order to complete their ship, but secretly, deep down, she desperately wanted to know why the Doctor had been so rashly willing to sacrifice everything to save the young woman he'd just met. So willing, he'd almost left Rose behind forever. "Why did they think they could repair the ship with the head of Madame De Pompadour?"

"We'll probably never know," he said, a complete lack of emotion in his voice. "There's massive damage in the computer's memory index… probably got confused. The TARDIS can close down the time windows now the droids have gone, stop them causing any more trouble…"

He was acting, she could tell. He was trying and failing to go about his business as usual, but something inside was killing him.

"Are you alright?" she asked, her voice gentle. He looked up, his face blank for a moment as though he were surprised at the question.

"I'm always alright," he lied, and even as he tried to convince her with the false words, his face was taught with pain.

She watched him for another moment as he fiddled with the controls of the TARDIS, until Mickey took her hand and suggested she show him around the rest of the ship. Unwillingly, she tore her eyes away from her beloved Doctor and followed him.

Later that night, however, after Mickey had retreated into his room, Rose crept through the halls of the TARDIS to the kitchen, where she made a fresh pot of tea. She poured the hot liquid into two mugs: her favorite, a pretty pink and yellow patterned one, and the one she bought for the Doctor at a market on Astris Bizarus; it was crafted in a beautiful TARDIS blue with a single white rose painted delicately on the side. "It's a rose," she had explained with a grin when she's handed over her present to him, "like me!"

She found him in the control room, where he seemed to sit alone all too often, though he never seemed to mind being found or she was sure he could find a more obscure place to hide away. He looked up when she entered, a small smile playing on his lips at the sight of her bearing the two steaming mugs of tea.

"Your favorite, monsieur," she said with a smile, handing over the cup. He wrapped both hands around the mug and took a sip.

"Ah, good old fashioned British tea," he said, winking at her. She settled herself down on the hard metal floor, folding her legs so she was sitting criss-cross. After a moment, the Doctor moved from his chair to a spot on the floor as well.

"Is something bothering you, Rose?" he asked after a few silent moments as they sipped at their beverages. "I would have expected you to be asleep by now."

Rose ignored his question, choosing instead to search his eyes for the answers she needed. His body may be young and smooth, but his eyes alone revealed just how old and weary and lonely the Time Lord was. Finally, she asked, point-blank, "Did you love her?"

Her question seemed to take him by surprise. "Love who?" he asked cautiously.

"Reinette," Rose said.

He immediately averted his eyes from her face, but she waited patiently as he shifted uncomfortably, staring around the room as if searching for something, anything to distract him from the question. She didn't press him, but simply waited for his response.

"No," he said after several long moments, his voice so quiet she might have convinced herself she imagined it.

"Then why smash the time window? I know that you had no idea the fireplace still worked when you did it, so why risk everything just to take the slow path with her? You left me behind!" her voice cracked with her last sentence, and against her will, tears began to prick the backs of her eyes.

"I would have found a way back to you Rose, you know that!" he said sharply, but instead of feeling comforted, she felt quite the opposite. Her eyes narrowed.

"But what if you didn't? _You left me alone!_"

"You weren't alone!" the Doctor said, his voice rising now, "You had Mickey! I have no one, Rose! I'm alone!"

Rose's face grew hard with anger and hurt, and her next words came out in a low, deep hiss. "_You've got me."_

The Doctor's eyes were stormy, but with which emotions, Rose couldn't tell. When he set his jaw and didn't speak, she continued. "You keep saying you're so alone, but you're not. I might have Mickey if I want him, but Mickey doesn't really have me. I'm all yours, Doctor, now and forever." She squared her shoulders, mustering up as much authority as she could. "So, I'm done playin' games and I want you to tell me: why did you run?"

_Why did you run?_

Rose didn't even realize what a loaded question that was. Why did he run? Why does he keep running, still? Would he ever stop running?

He spent so much time thinking through her question in his head, he had no idea how much time had passed when he finally uttered an answer. "Because I was scared." His eyes were downcast, his fingers tracing the rim of his mug. The mug with the little white rose.

"Scared of what?" Rose's voice had softened considerably, and she reached out to pry his hand away from the cup so she could lace her fingers with his.

"I'm not supposed to…" he muttered, avoiding her gaze again. When she began to rub soothing circles into the back of his hand with her thumb, he shook his head and tried to stand up. "I'm not—"

"Stop running away from me!" Rose cried in frustration. She refused to let go of his hand and yanked him back to his position on the floor. "What are you scared of!?"

"I'm not supposed to love you!" he finally shouted.

She fell silent, shock written all over her face.

"I'm sorry, Rose, I'm so sorry—" He screwed up his face in remorse, fidgeting uncomfortably and still trying to release his hand from her vicelike grip.

"You don't have to apologize," she said quietly. "D—do you really love me?"

The Doctor's frame crumpled in defeat; he bowed his head and relented his struggle against her hold. His free hand flew up to his face, covering his eyes.

"I'm not supposed to, Rose," he explained, and suddenly his voice was thick with what she suspected were tears. "Because you're so young and beautiful and human and I'm just a stupid old, broken Time Lord. You could have stayed on Earth and lived a wonderful life with Mickey, but instead I snatched you up, stole you away for myself, and that wasn't right. But loving you—falling in love with you—that's a whole different level, another story that never should have happened."

"But Doctor, why is it so wrong for you to love me? Does this feel wrong to you?" Rose asked timidly, reaching up to cup his face with her hand. He looked up slowly, his eyes full of pain.

"It's going to hurt," he whispered, but Rose didn't care. She slowly moved closer, one hand still tangled with his, the other gently stroking his jaw.

"What is?" she asked, hardly paying attention as her eyes flicked down to his lips then back to his eyes.

"When you leave." His voice was throaty and barely above a whisper.

"I'm never going to leave you," she murmured, her lips hovering inches away from his until he gave in, let his eyes fall shut and closed the gap.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you everyone for all the positive reviews! I really appreciate your support. This chapter takes place during "The Satan Pit," which (combined with "The Impossible Planet" is definitely one of my all-time favorite episodes.**

Things had never looked so grave for the future of the Doctor and Rose Tyler. They'd lost the TARDIS which had been their only lifeline to the rest of the Universe, the planet they were unfortunately stranded on was falling apart by the second, and the Doctor was currently separated from Rose by at least 20 miles as he dangled vulnerably in a pitch-black pit with no comprehension of how much farther down it was to the bottom.

There really was no way out from here. Even if he was able to return to Ida, they had no way of ascending to the surface of the planet and they were quickly running out of oxygen. If he dropped from the cable he was desperately hanging on to, he had no idea how far he'd fall.

No way out.

He thought of Rose, and her bright, pink and yellow face. He thought of that brief array of seconds earlier today when he imagined that maybe, even if their time traveling the Universe was over, they might have a life together on some peaceful planet somewhere; the one adventure he could never have. He thought of all the places he'd wanted to take her, and all the things he thought he'd have time to say.

So many missed opportunities.

His feet tingled with the sensation of having nothing beneath them to support them, while the rest of his body was supercharged with the desire to keep going…keep going…keep going down…

That desire was most likely going to be the death of him.

"Thank you, Ida," he said, getting ready to undo the last of the clips keeping him connected to the cable.

"Don't go!" she begged, but he shut out his feelings and ignored her. Because now was the moment. Now was possibly his last chance to ever say the words he so desperately needed to say yet was too afraid to utter. Well, his time was up, whether he confessed this truth or not.

"If you get back in touch," he said slowly, choosing his words carefully, "If you talk to Rose… just tell her… tell her…" His heart was racing faster and it was surprising how unbelievably difficult it was to speak three simple words. He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Tell her I love her, please. With everything I have."

"Oh, Doctor…" Ida breathed, but then he let go.

Moments later, the comms crackled back into life.

"Docter, are you there!? Docter? Ida? Can you hear me!? Are you there, Doctor!?" Rose's voice was frantic with worry. Tears welled in Ida's eyes. Had the comms been repaired ten seconds earlier, Rose could have heard those precious words for herself.

"He's gone," Ida said softly, her chest tightening with remorse.

"What d'you mean he's gone?" Rose asked, and Ida could almost feel the fear she heard in the poor girl's voice.

"He fell," she said simply. "Into the pit." Rose didn't need to know he did so willingly. "I don't know how deep it is; miles and miles and miles…"

"What do you mean he fell?"

"I couldn't stop him." _She should have tried harder. _"He said your name, though. He wanted me to tell you…"

"Tell me what?"

"He wanted me to tell you he loves you, Rose, with everything he has."

Rose let go of the comm, and Ida never heard how hard she cried.

* * *

Rose had refused to believe that the Doctor had perished even when Ida and the rest of the crew did, but even still, when his voice rang out over the intercom, "Sorry about the hijack, Captain, this is the good ship TARDIS! Now, first things first, have you got a Rose Tyler on board?" a wave of relief washed through her body filling every pore of her being that had very little to do with being rescued from the black hole.

Then, when she burst through the doors of the TARDIS and locked eyes with the mad Time Lord she had so unwisely fallen in love with, it was like a piece slid back into it's rightful place in her heart. The Docter grinned wider than she'd ever seen him grin before, and her own smile spread across her face before she'd had time to think. All of a sudden she was running, and he was running, and their bodies met in a tight embrace that nearly sent him flying as she leapt into his arms. He swayed gently, rocking their bodies back and forth, and Rose responded by wrapping her legs around his torso, refusing to let go.

They laughed into each other's skin, breathing in the simple _togetherness_ that had so nearly been denied them. Finally, after several minutes, Rose leaned back in his arms a little so she could see his face.

"Doctor?" She smiled at him, her tongue slipping between her teeth the way it did when she was genuinely happy.

The skin around the Doctor's eyes crinkled with pleasure at the way she said his name. "Rose?"

"Ida gave me a message from you, just after you fell." To Rose's surprise, the Doctor's cheeks turned a faint shade of pink at her words.

"And what did she say?" he asked, tilting his head cheekily.

"She told me you loved me," Rose said, mimicking him, "with everything you have."

Despite his blush, the Doctor's gaze was steady. He continued to smile at her, his beautiful Rose; his pink and yellow human who he thought he had lost but somehow still found again and again.

"Well, I suppose I do, then," he said, and as Rose leaned in to meet his lips (not for the first time, but this time she would actually remember) he decided that, even though he'd been to Hell and back today, this just might be the happiest he'd been in a very long time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, all your support really is wonderful and very encouraging! Thank you so much. Here's chapter three, which I think you can figure out takes place just after "New Earth." (I realize I'm not really making these chapters go in any sort of order, I just sort of write them as the idea strikes me.) Enjoy!**

Well, it had certainly been an interesting day, to say the least. New Earth… who would have guessed. And it had definitely been quite an experience having somebody else inside her head, that was for sure. Being able to partially comprehend what was going on in her surroundings but not having any control over her limbs, sensing memories and feelings being accessed by a stranger and knowing what her controller was thinking and saying, well, nothing could really prepare Rose for what that was like.

Then watching Cassandra control the Doctor's body, while completely immoral and wrong, was admittedly somewhat amusing (though she would never tell him that).

After dropping poor Chip who housed Cassandra's mind off at their final resting place, the Doctor and Rose retreated quietly into the TARDIS together, each in control of their own bodies now. The door clicked shut behind them and Rose grinned up at her Doctor, pulling him back into another hug. Funny how even after spending the entire day on New Earth, they hadn't done much while conscious together.

"Well, now that's all been sorted out, where to next, Rose Tyler?" the Doctor asked cheerfully, squeezing her shoulders as he stepped back before bounding over to the control panel. "How about this nifty little planet called Felspoon? The mountains are incredible, did you know they actually sway in the breeze?"

"That'd be amazing!" Rose shouted, joining him at his side, but then a memory occurred to her, albeit fuzzy but definitely there. "Hold on, Doctor, I want to ask you something…"

He paused his work at the controls to look at her. "Shoot."

"When Cassandra was inside me, well I can't really remember…Did I… did I really snog you?" Rose's cheeks were suddenly bright red. The Doctor grinned cheekily.

"Oh yes," he said, throwing her a little wink.

"Oh my God," Rose said embarrassedly, raising a hand to cover her eyes. "Did you know it was her inside me at that point?"

"Er—" now it was the Doctor's turn to blush. "Not exactly, no."

"Wait, so what did you do?" she asked in surprise, "I'm tryin' to remember but…I…can't…"

"Imayhavesortofsnoggedyouback I dunno?" The Doctor's words came out very quiet and very rushed, so it took her a moment to figure out what he even said. His hand flew up to ruffle his hair and he very obviously averted his gaze from her whole half of the room.

A slow smile spread across Rose's face as the implications of his confession hit her. A bubble of laughter escaped her lips as she said, "I can't believe you snogged me! And I can't even remember…"

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time!" The Doctor's eyes widened and his whole body froze as he realized what he just said.

Rose had frozen too. "What?" she asked, low and quiet and disbelieving.

"Nothing!" The Doctor sprang to life, knocking over a chair in his haste to flick on all the controls.

"Tell me, Doctor!" Rose shouted, chasing him around the control panel as he tried to dodge her and her question. Finally she caught hold of his arm and whirled him around to face her. "What are you talking about?"

He sighed in resignation. "So back when we were on Satellite 5 for the second time and the Daleks were about to destroy Earth, I sent you home so you wouldn't get destroyed by the delta wave. I couldn't bear losing you that way. Well, I thought you were all fine and secure, but your stupid, brilliant human mind decided you weren't taking no for an answer, so you ripped open the center panel here and looked into the heart of the TARDIS."

"Yeah, I know I did that!" Rose interrupted.

"I'm getting there!" the Doctor snapped irritably, "You wanted an answer!" Rose nodded and kept quiet. "Right. Well, that worked well enough, the telepathic connection brought you back to me, but you didn't know how dangerous it was to have the Time Vortex running through your head. No one's meant to have that, not even Time Lords, and the pressure of it was killing you. I absorbed it from your body into mine to save your life, and it killed my body, which is why I regenerated into this one."

"You died to save me?" Rose asked quietly.

"Of course I did!"

"But I still don't understand. What has that got to do with snogging?"

"Well, in order to absorb the Time Vortex, I had to connect with you somehow. So I, er, I kissed you."

"And I can't remember it at all!?" Rose exclaimed, throwing both her hands up in the air in exasperation. "You've snogged me twice now and I can't remember either time? What good is that?"

"Do you wish you remembered?" the Doctor asked, a little shyly.

"'Course I do." Her voice grew soft and quiet. "Do you wish I remembered?" Subconsciously, Rose took a step closer to him so their bodies were very nearly touching.

"A little."

It was the Doctor who made the first move, but he proceeded slowly, cautiously, his eyes flicking over Rose's face to gage her reaction as he leaned in. When he paused, barely an inch away, his sweet, Time Lord-y breath tickling her face, Rose stretched up on her tip toes to meet him. The kiss was slow and gentle and chaste, and after a moment, the Doctor pulled away. A smile was playing on his lips.

"Well," Rose said, imitating the way he normally drew out the word, "Looks like third time's the charm!" The Doctor grinned down at his beautiful Rose, letting his tongue slip between his teeth the way hers always did, basking in the wonderful joy simply looking into her face brought him. Then, of course, his pink and yellow human girl grabbed his jacket lapel and pulled him back in.

0000000

**Short but sweet, I suppose. I want to add that if any of you are itching for an alternative scenario from any of your favorite Ten/Rose episodes, feel free to let me know! I'm open to ideas and prompts. Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Several updates in one day, whoo hoo! (Don't come to expect that from me... haha) Well, this next chapter is in response to a prompt from the lovely Lizzy Lovegood, taking place the evening after "The Idiot's Lantern." Again, if there's a particular scene you think there should be an alternative spin on it from any Ten/Rose episodes, let me know and I'll see if I can work it in! Thanks again for the support, everyone!**

"_Found another one, sir." Footsteps._

_The Detective's voice. "Here you are, Doctor, take a good look. See what you can deduce." The form of a woman, her upper half hidden by a black sheet, the hem of her pastel pink poodle skirt just visible beneath her coverings. The acceleration of his heartbeats. The sweat on his palms._

_The swish of fabric as the woman is unveiled._

_Horror. Fear. Heartbreak._

"_Rose."_

_The murmur of voices behind him, unknowing, hardly caring. _

"_I found her in the street… abandoned." _

"_That's unusual…"_

_His own voice, rough and gravelly with disgust and fury, speaking to the men at his back but keeping his eyes glued to her completely blank face. "They did what?"_

"_Sorry?"_

"_They left her where?" If he were a snake, he would be spitting venom._

"_Just… in the street." They are unaffected by this fact. How dare they not care? Do they not understand the severity of the situation?_

_Anger. Pure, undiluted anger, filling him to the brim until he's nearly overflowing._

"_In the street? They left her in the street? They took her face and then just chucked her out and _left her in the street_? And as a result that makes things…simple. Very, very simple. Do you know why?"_

"_No…"_

"_Because now, Detective Inspector Bishop, _there is no power on this Earth that can stop me!_"_

The Doctor woke suddenly in a cold sweat, his hearts beating abnormally fast and limbs tangled up in the sheets. His breathing came out quick and shallow, and it took him several moments to realize where he was and who else was safe and sound in the room down the hall. As both his breathing and heart rate returned to normal, the Doctor disentangled himself from the bed fittings and stumbled around the room to find his dressing gown. He knew that Rose was safe, that she had both her face and her mind back, but he still wanted to make sure, extra sure, and put his own mind at ease.

The TARDIS hummed softly as he crept down the hall to Rose's room. To his surprise, when he reached it, the door was slightly ajar and there was a soft glow of light from inside. He rapped his knuckles softly on the polished wood before peering in.

Rose was awake despite the lateness of the hour (well, actually there wasn't a defined "time" where they were; they were currently floating idly through deep space, but she had been awake for over eighteen hours by now and it was definitely time for sleep), propped up in bed with a journal on her lap. She looked up to meet his gaze as he poked his head around the door. A soft smile lit up her face.

"Come in," she said, jerking her head as an invitation, and her request was followed. The bedsprings creaked a little as he climbed in beside her, leaning back against the headboard and sticking his legs out straight in front of him.

"Is this Howard's old thing?" Rose asked lightly, tugging at the sleeve of the dark blue dressing gown the Doctor wore. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"Hey, I have fond memories wearing these jim jams!" he said warmly. "Won a sword fight with the Sycorax leader in these, I did."

"Oh, I remember," Rose said, nudging his shoulder with hers. "But is something bothering you, Doctor? You don't normally come in here in the middle of the night."

"Technically it's not night at all, we're in space with no orbit or sun or even a concept of time of day, the TARDIS is completely idle—" the Doctor explained automatically, avoiding Rose's question. She let him ramble on about the inner workings of time and space for a minute and eventually his voice trailed away.

"Doesn't matter," she said finally. "Something must be wrong, though, you look all pale and worried…" She reached up to slowly stroke his clammy cheek with the back of her hand. His eyes slid closed at her touch and it was a while before he spoke.

"Nothing of importance, just some unpleasant dreams," he murmured, keeping his eyes shut.

"Does that happen often? Nightmares?" she asked, the tone of her voice sounding somewhere between childlike and motherly, if that was possible.

"Well, not really," he said, shrugging a little, "because I don't sleep much. Sometimes, I suppose."

"What do you dream of? Gallifrey?"

Something about the sound of his home planet's name rolling off Rose's tongue made the insides of his chest flutter a little, and he turned his head to look at her. The yellow glow of the lamp illuminated half her face and its twinkling reflection danced in her chocolate brown eyes.

"Sometimes I dream of Gallifrey, and sometimes that's good and sometimes that's bad. Not tonight, though."

"What was the nightmare about tonight, then?"

The Doctor hesitated; goodness knows he was never one to talk about his feelings, despite how soft and emotional he secretly was. He suddenly became aware of the fact that Rose had taken a hold of his hand, and was now lightly tracing patterns into his palm. Without realizing it, he began to speak.

"I was having terrible dreams about what happened today. I was just re-living it, really. The moment when the detectives brought you in with a sheet over your head, and told us they'd found you abandoned in the street, and your face was gone… I had no idea if the process was reversible and I was _so angry_ that someone would do that to you… Rose, I can't begin to explain to you how upset I was."

Rose smiled sadly. "It's not the first time we've found ourselves in a sticky spot, Doctor, and we always manage to find a way out in the end."

"I know, but they _chucked you out in the street_, Rose! It's hard for me to bear to think that there are some creatures in this Universe that would treat you like that."

Rose squeezed his hand gently. "I'm alright, really, I am," she said. She shifted so that she was lying on her side, propping herself up on her elbow still holding his hand, and the two fell silent for a while. Rose's eyes never left the Doctor's face, and she watched as he began to blink slower and slower.

"I don't think you sleep enough, Doctor," she said quietly, brushing his hair back from his forehead ever-so-lightly.

"I'm fine," he said, but his words came out slurred.

"Come on, you're practically asleep already," she said, amusement coloring her tone. "You can just stay here."

His eyes snapped open, though only for a brief second. "Are you sure?"

Rose laughed, "'Course I am!"

"But the sheets are pink…" the Doctor whined, though he helped Rose pull the blankets back and squirmed in under them just the same.

"Quiet, you," Rose joked, and plopped her journal on the floor before shutting off the light and sliding under the covers as well. She rolled over in the dark, and as her eyes started to adjust, she just able to make out the planes of his peaceful face. She had just let her own eyes close when he murmured, so quietly she thought she had imagined it, "I love you, Rose."

Her heart skipped a beat and her whole body suddenly felt very warm and fuzzy in the best way possible. He sighed in his sleep; she didn't think he was even aware of what he had just said.

Rose had never felt so safe and happy as she did now, snuggled in bed, all warm and safe and comfortable, in the TARDIS with the ridiculous man she had no way of knowing would infiltrate her life the way he had.

"I love you too, Doctor," she whispered into the night.


End file.
